Day by Day - Part 1

As you can see, it's been awhile since I last posted - 5 months to be exact. There are a few reasons I could give for this such as an international move, becoming a first-time aunt, driving or flying to at least 12 different locations for business or travel, selling tees at 3 different conferences (Corpus Christi, KY, IL), celebrating my birthday, celebrating our anniversary, Greg starting a new job (so proud of him!), and in general trying to get back into the swing of things after our amazing 6-month adventure in Rio de Janeiro, but really, I've known the only reason that mattered...fear.

I didn't realize how vulnerable it would feel to have a blog dedicated to a faith-journey...of openly sharing that I am being sure of what I hope for and certain of what I do not (yet) see...when I still don't have in the physical realm what I've set my faith on in the spiritual realm. I didn't think about it much in the beginning, but things have been hitting closer to home lately with the arrival of my nephew and, very soon, another neice & nephew! I love being an aunt, by the way. Little Reuben Joseph has stolen my heart...and any day now, I'll have another nephew and a neice to adore! 

Sweetness itself:  Reuben Joseph - 10 days old

It's been 6 and a half years.  This walk of faith and hope has become easier and harder simultaneously as time goes by, day by day.  Easier, because as you go with God you become completely vulnerable before Him as you continually lay your heart open to reveal every emotion and desire that makes up YOU!  (Okay - that sounds like the "harder" side of things - but hear me out.) 

This kind of real-ness creates an intimacy so deep that you know you couldn't retreat from your position even if you felt you couldn't stand any longer.  The relationship is too involved and the dependence so great that to stop, to give-up, would be next to impossible.  This is because, along the way, you have invited Him in.  You've learned, or simply decided, to trust Him, and there's such an entwinement of His life in yours that you're not even the same person as in the beginning.  His spirit within you has transformed you.  How can you make a cake go back to being egg and flour and milk?  You can't.  It's a new creation.  

When I chose God at age 11, I became a new creation.  And I can't go back.  I don't want to.  As I see God meet me, even in little day to day things, and as I hear what He's doing in the lives of those around me, my faith is bolstered and the wait becomes easier.  Hope portrayed by others spurs on my hope.  God's faithfulness encourages my faith.  There's no plan B for me.  That makes it easy.

At the same time, the journey FEELS harder because the longer the wait, the greater the desire grows and the ache that comes with it.  And when you're not sure how and when things are going to come about, it's so easy to become weary, doubtful and fearful.  If you're experiencing this type of "wait" that makes you feel faint with longing at times, it's not because you're waiting for the latest and greatest cell phone or a chance to visit some exotic island...it's because there's something deep within you that's crying out to be fulfilled.  And that thing is as much a reality to you as anything in the physical.  Do you have a parent, a sibling, a child who has wandered from God?  Is there a talent, a vision for ministry or work burning within you to be released?  Are you single and longing to find that person who will love you "til death do you part?"  Do you ache to see restoration in the marriage relationship you already have?  Are you longing to walk with God instead of against Him?

No matter what it is, I bet you have a vision of what your fulfilled desire looks like...you can see the scenario playing out in front of you - it feels so real, you can almost perceive it with your senses.  This vision of what COULD BE can stir up feelings of desperation over what STILL ISN'T if we don't set aside our emotions and stand strong in God's Word.  And the amazing thing is that God has told us that He has given us all we need for life and godliness in His Word.  Sometimes the reality we're waiting for is just one good decision away.  Sometimes it's a process. 

But when we remember to say what God says, this vision of reality can bring HOPE!  So I say, "Children are an inheritance from the Lord."  "He makes the barren woman to be a joyful mother of children."  "God's Word does not return to Him void."  When I bolster my faith with what God says about my situation, the vision of my baby feels like a sweet gift from the Lord.  At times I feel I can almost see her...I can feel her skin, I can see her smile and hear her little noises.  She's already so real to me and my arms ache to hold her.

This is my hope.  This is what I'm looking forward to.  This is my faith being made real.  Day by Day.

What are you waiting for?  Ephesians 3:16-20  "I pray that out of the Father's glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.  And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled with the fullness of God.  Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!  Amen."